Have you seen those darling Huggies commercials for their new slip on diapers? You know the one where the cute baby is crawling his naked little booty away from mom and all the while she is looking at him with an , "aw shucks that little whippersnaper is at it again" look on her face? Have you? Aren't they just darling? Warms the heart.
Well now, if you will, please picture that same scene with a baby with a doodie booty. Named Hayes.
And a mom with, "I am going to put my finger in my eye if he does this again, "look on her face. Named Maggie.
As previously stated, Hayes does not like to have his diaper changed. At all. Not one bit. At all.
He has this WWE move that he does which goes something like this:
Press shoulders into ground
Arch back more
Wave dirty booty in mommy's face in an attempt to distract her with the smell
Keep in mind I am holding both of his ankles with one hand and attempting to clean him with the other. It would actually be mighty impressive if it weren't so flippin', flappin' infuriating.
This morning Hayes had an extra special diaper and I could tell before we even got started that the changing session was going to be a doozy. I got all my supplies, handed him a toy and called Lucy in for reinforcements.
10 minutes later the diaper was changed. I was sweating, Hayes was crying, and Lucy was still singing "row, row, row your boat" at the top of her lungs in an effort to calm him.
Oh, and I have a pulled muscle in my neck/shoulder/upper back region. I am not even sure at what point during the fracas (n. a noisy quarrel; brawl) I incurred the injury. All I know is that it hurts to turn my neck to the right. Or to the left. Or look down .
So thanks Huggies for the suggestion of the slip on diaper. I appreciate your input. Really, I do. But now, if you can make yourself useful and invent something for the mom of a future professional wrestler that would be the bee's knees.
It's either that or I am sending Hayes and his dirty booty straight to your doorstep.
"Do you smell what the Hayes is cooking"?*
Too graphic? Sorry, but it couldn't be helped.
*For all those who have no idea what that means, ask you your husband or son. Or just google it, for Pete's sake.
Hayes-man is 11 months today and I am almost certain he said "hi" to me this morning. Maybe. It was either "hi" or"ahhhhh" or "heeeeeeee". It's really hard to tell, honestly. But I am going to choose to believe.
Hayes' specialty is arching his back to avoid doing something he doesn't want to so.
Eat a bottle? Back arch.
Take a bath? Back arch?
Sit in high chair, car seat, or exersaucer (so mommy can take a shower, for the love of Pete)?
He prefers feeding himself - both bottle and table food.
He equally loves waffles and steamed carrots. Weirdo.
Hayes' favorite pastime, except for arching his back, is banging on everything! He especially loves his tom tom drum and my parents' glass coffee table.
The next time I write one of these posts it will be for his first birthday. Where did the year go?
Flashback Friday (a.k.a. the post with a ton of pictures)
One of our favorite places in Southern California is Tanaka Farms. Tanaka Farms is a family-run, organic farm near Irvine. Lucy loved their strawberry and watermelon tours and I loved that she would eat vegetables there that she wouldn't even taste at home.
Green onions? Of course.
Cilantro? More please!
Whole carrots with their hats still on?
What's up Doc? (Strawberry Tour 2011)
Strawberry Tour - March, 2010
This was about a week before Lucy started walking.
Momma and Berry Head
Berry picking stance
I think she ate more than she picked
Bye for now
Watermelon Tour - July 2011
Hayes and Daddy got to come!
Delicious! Watermelon tastes better in a watermelon themed dress. I'm surprised you didn't know that.
Poor Hayes-man. It was super hot that day. He did tell me that wearing Polo helped him get through the day.
Lucy and Daddy in the Tanaka sign. Only took 4 tours to get her to put her head in that hole. One more and we would have had her looking at the camera.
Another awesome thing about Tanaka is that it has a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) Program. I would definitely recommend trying to find one in your area.
Here's the thing, Cinco Ranch is WINDY. I'm talking W-I-N-D-Y windy. I'm talking blow you sideways while you're running windy. And if you happen to be running with a double BOB stroller (wind sail), well then forget it.
As I have mentioned before I am training for The Woodlands Half Marathon. (It takes place on March 3 and there is still time to register.)
Yesterday was a 5 miler and it was definitely the hardest run I have had in a long time. The wind was brutal. Every direction I turned was into the wind. I didn't know that was possible. In fact, I kept saying out loud, "How is this possible"? Lucy would dutifully answer, "Don't know Mommy". Then she would demand the shade up or the shade down or that I run faster.
Usually we have a really good time when we run. We talk about everything we see, look for bridges and say hello to every dog / biker / runner / walker that we see. Yesterday there was none of that business going on. Yesterday we were getting through it.
My favorite part of the run happened around mile 3.8. I know that it was mile 3.8 because I have a nifty Nike gps watch and I was checking it every .2 miles to see if I was almost done.
IT WAS WINDY!
So it was mile 3.8 and I ran by a couple leisurely walking their dogs. I had passed them earlier on the loop around the lake, so I guess they felt like we were "lake friends" or something because she called out, "keep pushing those kids in this wind and you'll be skinny in no time".
That's right, "IN NO TIME".
Not, "what great shape you will be in "or your legs will be so strong" or "what a great example you are setting for your kids".
In her (weak) defense, she did try to back track by saying something about "keep up the good work blah diddy blah blah".
Too late Walky McGee, I tuned you out .08 miles ago.
"What a ringing endorsement for running", you say! The whole point is that yes, it stunk, but we got through it.
The other point is, WHY IS IT SO DANG WINDY IN CINCO RANCH?
And can someone Harry Potter me a wind shield? (That would be the last point)
Lucy and I leave in the morning for a weekend in Long Beach! We are super excited to all of our friends, have nice looking hair, meet some a couple new babies (we know the parents, not just random babies), eat good food and enjoy the sunshine!
Unless I get my business together soon and can write a Flashback Friday post, I will catch you on the flip side.
Flip Side = Tuesday. For those of you that don't speak Maggie.
This is not a food blog. For several reasons, I have no intention of it becoming a food blog.
1. There are already so many food blogs I like to read: Annie's Eats, Skinny Taste, My Baking Addiction, Joy the Baker, The Pioneer Woman, Confections of a Foodie Bride, Homesick Texan, Food Gawker, and on and on.
B. My pictures of food never look appetizing. Never.
III. I don't want the responsibility. If I tell you something is amazing and I post these glorious pictures and you make it for a party and it is ga-ross. Well then I would feel bad. And I already have enough mom guilt to fill a barn. I don't need that from you.
Cuatro. This blog is supposed to be about my family and my kids. Well, I guess that should have been number one. Hello, mom guilt. Nice to see you again.
With all that being said, I made this tonight and liked it very much. It was warm, comforting, and healthy. Even Lucy von Picky Pants ate it up. I served it with a salad and some multigrain bread.
Random Rant: I ordered invitations for Lucy's birthday weeks ago and they are still not here. I contacted the Etsy seller and she is resending, but her birthday party is in less than three weeks. Yes, it is just a small party, mostly family (we don't know anyone yet), but it makes me so sad. Y'all, I am about to send an Evite. An Evite. Evites do have their time and place, but not for my Lucy Pea's 3rd birthday. I feel like a hobo.
Please don't take offense if you used Evite for your kiddo's birthday. I just really like to send paper invitations. I would send them for play dates and family dinners if I could. It is a sickness.
Saturday we went to watch the Fightin' Texas Aggies btho the Northwestern Wildcats in the Meineke Car Car Bowl of Texas. Formerly the Texas Bowl, formerly the GalleryFurniture.com Bowl, formerly the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Bowl. (Just checking to see if you're reading.)
It was my first A&M football game in 5 years and I scoured the city of Houston for a maroon shirt. I finally found my shirt destiny at The Wonderstore aka Target. We went to the game with Drew's parents and his two sisters. The game itself was a blast. It was so fun to see the Aggie Band perform. I felt so sad for Northwestern that they had to borrow a local high school band because theirs couldn't make the trip.
Oh, what? That was the Northwestern Band? My bad. Sorry, the baton twirlers were totally good.
However, the highlight of the game had to be when were going through the security check point. As you can see in the above picture, my shirt is sleeveless. Remember that fact.
So we went through bag check with no issue. I, for once, did not have a gigantor bag filled with diapers, snacks, wipes and toys to sort through. Then we proceed to the pat down area. I dutifully stood there and raised my arms so the friendly CSC worker could check my torso. This is when the shenanigans took place. She began the pat down procedure by running her hands along my right arm.
MY BARE RIGHT ARM.
What exactly was she looking for? One of those flesh colored air horns? (We decided later that she was confused by my serious guns.)I could tell by the look on her face that she realized how ridiculous she was being but she couldn't admit her mistake and continued the pat down on the other bare arm. I have to admit, I admired her follow through. Go big or go home. That is what I always say.
Of course Molly, Anna and I thougt this was hysterical. It became increasingly more hysterical after we had a glass (or two) of champagne.
In my defense, I was going to get a mimosa but then Anna ruined orange juice by telling me exactly how they process it. You don't want to know. All I can say is SQUEEZE YOUR OWN. (Please don't sue me State of Florida)
As per usual, a reenactment was in order.
And then another.
People are staring at this point but we don't care because WE ARE FUNNY!
And then another.
Special thanks to CSC employee Tracie for participating.
No yellow parkas were injured in this reenactment.
What is up with my hair?
I am glad to be back in Texas, but the humidity is brutal on the ol' hairdo.
To all my SoCal friends...The above picture is why Texans use so much hair spray. The "helmet" is actually an instrument of defense. Don't judge until you walked a mile in my shoes in 100% humidity. You'd be reaching for the Aqua Net faster than you could say, "Y'all come back now".